Charlie’s Dream
Charlie dreamed he died and stood at the pearly gates. Saint Peter was nowhere in sight. Instead, a dozen-or-so women stood inside the gates and refused to open them and let him in.
Waving their fists at him, the women chanted the words that Nathan the Prophet spoke to David in biblical times, ‘Be sure your sins will find you out! Be sure your sins will find you out!’
Charlie recognized his two ex-wives Marie, and Gloria. They pointed accusatory fingers at him and shouted several times over the chanting of the other women, ‘You were an adulterer, liar, and a cheat! Adulterer, liar, and a cheat!’
He also recognized Ginny, Lily, Kay, Paula, and a mousy looking woman whose name he couldn’t remember. These were women he had fun with for a while, and moved on.
And, of course, there was Judy, who chanted louder than the other women. He only had a couple of dates with her, but after an argument one evening, he drove her home, dumped her at her front door, never telephoned her again, and never returned her telephone calls.
Oh yes, and there was Charlotte, standing next to Judy. He remembered that he had to call the police to stop her from pounding on his front door after he called on the telephone and broke off their engagement.
Several of the other women looked familiar. One looked a little like Beverley. She was one of many women with whom he had a one-night stand, promised to telephone, but didn’t.
Another looked like Gracie. She was the woman he agreed to marry one night in a drunken stupor but left her standing in the courtyard of the old Rehan Hotel in Seattle while he went up to his room in the hotel. He told her he wanted to change his clothes, but when he got up there, he passed out on the bed.
Still another looked like Valerie. She was a woman he dated for a while but failed to repay money he borrowed from her to pay his college tuition one semester.
‘Good God!’ he shouted when he spotted his sister Sharon among his accusers.
Standing next to Sharon was a man Charlie had not noticed earlier. The man was none other than Brother Edmund A. Whittle, the hell-fire-and-damnation preacher that had attempted to put the fear of God in him during his youth.
Sharon and Brother Whittle pointed accusatory fingers at him. ‘You were an inconsiderate and disgraceful man who lived a life steeped in sin and debauchery!’ they shouted in unison. ‘Go! Go! Heaven has no place for you!’
The judgment and condemnation of his sister concerned Charlie, but he didn’t respond as she and Brother Whittle turned and walked away, presumably back to their place in heaven. He was more concerned about the judgment and condemnation of the women who remained inside the gates and refused to open them and let him enter.
Much to his surprise, he spotted his brother Harry’s four ex-wives. They stopped chanting with the other women long enough to accuse him of tacitly condoning Harry’s bad behavior toward them.
Charlie’s initial response to the women was a denial of sorts. ‘I didn’t wrong any of you,’ he argued. ‘Not really. Why would you have wanted to continue a relationship with a guy who believed he wasn’t right for you?’
The women booed him and gave him two thumbs down. In an attempt to focus attention away from the majority of them, he pointed a finger at Harry’s ex-wives and shouted, ‘You have no reason to deny me entry! I’m not Harry! I’m not Harry!’
That failing, he attempted to blame any wrong he might have done to the women on circumstances that were not of his choosing, namely the genes that went into his makeup and the environment of poverty and ignorance that plagued the formative years of his youth. He argued that these circumstances may have denied him the wherewithal necessary to behave otherwise.
Again, the women booed him and gave him two thumbs down.
So finally, Charlie caved. He threw up his hands and gave them what he hoped would appease them.
‘Okay, okay! I’m guilty as charged!,’ he cried out. ‘All I can say is I’m sorry! I’m sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness! Please! Please forgive me!’
Then abruptly, he awoke, disoriented for a moment. Not wanting to fall asleep again and risk returning to the dream, he got out of bed and busied himself at his computer.
In what seemed like an endless number of days and nights thereafter, he tried to put the dream out of his mind. But despite his best efforts, he failed. The chanting of the women continued to haunt him, ‘Be sure your sins will find you out! Be sure your sins will find you out!’
Copyright © 2024 Frank Zahn. Published in Meat for Tea: The Valley Review, Volume 19, Issue 2 - Jerky, June 2025, forthcoming.