As he approaches the moment his life ends, he confesses his life was not as joyous and productive as it otherwise could have been. And the culprit can no longer be denied.
That culprit is by name low self-esteem, and like a cancer that violates and corrupts, it often took control of him and occasioned defensive rage that could not be excused, not even with sincere expressions of remorse.
The defensive rage impeded his efforts to grow his talents; pursue knowledge; attain prosperity; and most of all, maintain loving relationships. He thrashed about in a quicksand of anguish.
Why he was so plagued is a mystery to him that even if unraveled could not change the past. So in his short time remaining, he prays that fate accepts his remorse and provides a way for him to make amends in lives he may have yet to live.
He also prays this telling helps others so plagued to understand and seek counseling early on so that the culprit cannot make their lives less joyous and productive than they otherwise could have been.
Copyright © 2021 Frank Zahn. Published in The Criterion, Volume 12, Issue 1 (February 2021), p. 416 - https://www.the-criterion.com/V12/n1/Frank.pdf