Not for Women Only
I don't have a woman to fix my breakfast, lunch, and dinner anymore; clean up after me around the house; iron my shirts; wash my socks and underwear; or run errands for me. I don't have a woman to clip my toenails, rub my back and feet, tell me I have a great body, fake orgasm, or bring me another beer. I don't have a woman to blame or yell at when I feel out of sorts, and I don’t have one to feel sorry for me, forgive me, or shore up my ego when I feel foolish or outdone.
But then again, I don't have to get married and support a woman to enjoy a woman's company anymore. I don't have to protect and defend a woman; say things that boost her self-esteem; listen to endless psychobabble; suffer her menstrual cycle; or buy flowers, candy, and trinkets for her to keep her in a good mood. I don't have to live in fear of losing my car, my home, or my savings when I make a mistake or otherwise screw up. I don't have to spend any more time in obedience training, that is, I don't have to become more sensitive and attentive;
lift up and put down the toilet seat; fix the screen door; stop cussing, passing gas, and belching; or stop lying on the couch and browsing the television channels with the remote.
Women's liberation is not for women only. It's also for men. So, angry feminists everywhere, keep up the good fight, and should the urge to burn your bras overcome you again, I'll unhook them for you, help you take them off, and light the match.
Copyright © 1999 Frank Zahn. Published in Meat for Tea: The Valley Review
forthcoming September 2020.