A Man Recounts
As indications that his life is ending creep into his days and nights, he wonders if he is worthy of reunion with his parents in that heavenly place. He realizes that at times, he has lived up to the positive way they raised him, but at other times, he has either failed or did not even try. And so, he offers the following recounting of his significant positives and negatives for his parent to assess his worthiness:
After the confines of a troubled youth and a liberating hitch in the Navy, he indulged himself in a life of fun times, booze, and amorous women. But all the while, the positive influence of his parents nagged for achievement, which after several starts and stops took form in higher education. And to the surprise of some, he ended up a rousing college professor with occasions to study, lecture, and seek adventure abroad.
He was fortunate to have met people along the way who encouraged him, including two high school teachers and his first employer and mentor. And he would be remiss if he did not include three of his college professors, and two people who gave him a hand up when he desperately needed it. He did not make a lot of friends because a lot would have required a lot of upkeep, but he admits the few he made turned out to be good investments.
His marriage to the woman he aggrieved and took for granted ended, but not without her lingering surges of angst, accusation, and reprisal. He failed to prevent education bias from turning his otherwise remarkable daughter and son into stereotypical liberals, her more so than him. And he supported his son’s decision to marry a woman with caste pretensions that now pollute the rearing of his otherwise perfect grandchildren.
While caught up in the middle-aged singles world of fun and games, he embraced two women who wanted him as much as he wanted them. One was modest, thoughtful, oozing with intimacy, and submissive, and the other earthy, outgoing, uninhibited, and entertaining. Ignoring the immorality of having two lovers at the same time, he gambled that neither would discover his involvement with the other.
During his retirement years, he realized a lifetime goal of becoming a writer with publications in a variety of print and online outlets. He relished the challenge of writing essays that exposed religious and political zealots, as well as, the challenge of expression in fictional and poetic forms. He wishes he had more time to achieve more of his writing goals, or better still, he wishes he simply had more time to achieve more.
With the foregoing recounting of his significant positives and negatives in focus, he prays his parent’s assessment will be that the former outweighed the latter. He also prays his half brother and sister will be with his parents in that heavenly place and greet him at last as if they are not half but whole. And when his younger brothers and sister arrive, he prays it will be as joyous a family reunion as those they shared in life.
Copyright © 2018 Frank Zahn